


Beroring

by Mystic_Shadows



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Feelings, Gen, Light Angst, bad at feelings, but not really?, implied emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-07 18:43:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17965991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Shadows/pseuds/Mystic_Shadows
Summary: Astrid has Feelings. And doesn't know how to deal.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place a little bit after HTTYD 1. Probably a couple of weeks, no more than a month. No Beta, done in a couple of hours. Constructive Criticism welcome. Possible triggers, but not really? There's kind-of implied abuse, mostly emotional/neglect.

Astrid felt off. She threw an axe at the tree. She was worried, angry, and… something else. Her chest felt tight, like something was twisting around her heart. She threw her axe again. But she couldn’t figure out why she felt this way. She was used to being angry- she was always angry at Snotlout and the twins, who couldn’t take anything seriously. But she had been working on that—she was now angry at them only half the time and they hadn’t done anything extremely stupid in a couple of days. She threw her axe again at the same spot. Worried was also an emotion she was used to-- having dragons attack all the time, she had been worried for her parents and her tribe. But now they were friends with dragons, and she wouldn’t change that for anything. She loved her beautiful, strong Stormfly and it was all because of Hiccup. 

Hiccup. The village screw-up that changed her whole world in only a few months. She threw her axe again. The screw-up that she was not-dating. The screw-up who wasn’t a screw-up anymore. Hiccup who had never returned her kisses. Hiccup who never initiated contact. Hiccup who had flinched from her yesterday. The axe slid from her fingers and ended up three trees away. She was angry with herself! Angry that Hiccup had felt the need to flinch… and worried. Astrid knew she was the strongest of the teens and that few were stupid or crazy enough to stand up to her... and any who did, she could easily beat. She thought Hiccup would have told her if he was uncomfortable with anything she did, but maybe not? 

“Astrid?” She turned around and threw a dagger, narrowly missing Hiccups’ head. “Astrid, are—are you ok? You’ve been out here all day.”

Lifting her eyes, Astrid noticed the sun was beginning to set. “Wow. It really didn’t seem that long, at all. Why are you here?” Astrid retrieved her axe. 

“Stormfly came and got me. She seemed worried. Are you sure you’re ok? Stormfly doesn’t normally do this.” Astrid noticed Hiccup wasn’t looking at her as he was talking. 

Astrid looked at Hiccup and ran her eyes over his body. The smallest Viking. The smartest Viking. She had wanted more time to work through her feelings, but she wouldn’t miss the opportunity. “Hiccup, you’d tell me if you felt… uncomfortable with something I was doing, right?”

“What…What kind of question is that? Why wouldn’t I tell you?” Hiccup was still looking at the ground.

Astrid held back a sigh. While that wasn’t an actual answer and not what she was hoping for, it told her everything she needed to know. “No, Hiccup. I’m not ok. I’ve spent all day thinking. And I’m not sure I like the answer I came up with.”

“Thinking can a dangerous pastime.”

“I’ve been thinking… all day, it seems. About you. About me. About…us. And don’t interrupt, please.” Astrid added, noticing Hiccup opening his mouth. He complied, looking at her this time. “Yes, about us. And I—I realized that, almost every time I kissed you, I almost always punched you first. Which is normally how I show my affection, but not everyone else does that, right? That lead to realizing that, when I did kiss you, you didn’t return my kisses. You just… accepted them. Which lead to realizing that you don’t initiate contact of any sort—not hugging, or hand-holding, much less kissing. I’d pegged you as a hugger, or someone who craved contact. But, did you realize, you flinched from me yesterday? So, I began to wonder if you like kissing me… or if you wanted to say no but didn’t want to anger me. I started wondering if you really wanted to be with me.” Astrid heaved a deep sigh, feeling marginally better.

“Is... Is this a break-up speech? Are you breaking up with me? Wait, was...was what we were doing considered dating?” Hiccup was frowning at the ground, glancing up at Astrid.

“It’s not a break-up speech. I…” Astrid strode close to Hiccup and grabbed his chin, lifting his head so she could look into his eyes. She kept her grip loose, just in case. “I want this to work. Or try to make it work. But Hiccup. I didn’t…don’t want to force you into something you don’t want. So, I want to know what you want. Do you want to keep trying at this?” 

Hiccup opened his mouth and closed it and shook his head a bit. Astrid sighed, letting go of his chin and turning away. “Hiccup, I’ll stop. I won’t force you. And when you do know what you want, if you want to keep trying? Or if you want to just be friends? I’ll be fine either way.” She started to head to where Stormfly and Toothless had been napping, across the clearing, when she was stopped by a gentle hand closing on her wrist. She glanced down at it, then at Hiccup, turning back to face him.

Hiccup was biting his lip and glancing everywhere except at her. “Did…Did you know, when I first woke up after the—the Queen, I thought I had died and was in Valhalla?” Astrids’ eyes narrowed, confused at the apparent change of topic. She opened her mouth, and Hiccup held up a hand. “Let me finish?” Astrid closed her mouth and nodded. “I thought I was in Valhalla. Dragons and Vikings living together in relative peace? The villagers cheering for me? Dad, actually proud of me, for once? That has never happened, Astrid. Not even once, not since I was born. You kissing me almost sealed the deal. You’re the perfect Viking, Astrid. Smart, strong, beautiful, a true warrior. Me? I’m not a Viking in any meaning. And until the—the Queen, I was an outcast. I spent more time out of the village than in it. I became a loner, I’m not used to…to being the pride of Berk, because I’m not the pride of Berk. I…I feel like I’m living a lie.”

Astrid had to interrupt. “It’s not a lie, Hiccup. You might not have started out as the pride of Berk, but you became it. And I—I’m sure your dad just didn’t know how to show that he was proud of you. And thanks for the compliment, but I wouldn’t consider myself the perfect Viking.”

Hiccup rolled his eyes, mouth quirked up a bit. “Take the compliment, Astrid. And it’s not that I don’t want this, whatever this is. That’s not it at all. Its just…you’re the first person to ever ask what I wanted.”

Astrid frowned, feeling the tightness in her chest again. “That…That’s not right. Not even the Chief? Or Gobber? Gobber seems like he’d listen to you.”

Hiccup snorted. “Before Toothless, Gobber told me to change all of this.” Sweeping a hand over his body. Astrid shook her head, a little disbelieving. “And Dad has a village to run. That’s beside the point. The point, Astrid, is I’m not used to people, to humans. I’m used to being by myself, able to leave the village whenever I wanted without telling anyone. And now that the I’m the Hero, I’m getting crowded by everyone.”

Astrid frowned, thinking that over. She nodded. “Ok, that’s…understandable. But that doesn’t really answer my question. Not my original one, anyway. You don’t seem to respond to my advances, but you’re not pushing me away, either. Do you want to keep trying this?”

“I…I’m not used to human contact, Astrid. It’s not that I don’t want to respond to you, it’s that I’m surprised that someone is, willingly, touching me. And by the time I get over the surprise, it’s too late to respond to the contact.” Astrid realized, with some surprise, Hiccup had been looking in her direction since he started talking about being in Valhalla. 

“So, you do want to keep trying. But the contact scares, surprises you?” Astrid summarized, Hiccup nodding. “Well, what if we start small? We can go to the Cove, and I’ll warn you before I touch you. Slowly getting you used to human contact. But Hiccup? I have one condition.” Hiccup raised an eyebrow. “If you’re uncomfortable? Or if you don’t want to do something? Tell me. Tell me no, if you need to.”

Hiccup looked at the ground again. “I—If you’re ok with helping me, I like the idea. I—I don’t know if I’ll be able to say no, but I—I can try. Or signal or something. Thanks, Astrid.”

The tight feeling in Astrids’ chest loosened a bit, and she smiled. She watched Hiccup and Toothless fly away, and turned to Stormfly, gently petting her. “Hey, girl. That was a much-needed talk. I hadn’t realized he was overwhelmed, though it makes sense. But we’ll help him through this, right, my smart girl? You and I and Toothless.”


	2. Borte

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here, have another chapter. Muse wouldn't go away.

Astrid swooped down into the Cove. She wasn’t sure Hiccup would be here, though. Earlier, she had seen Hiccup and the Chief talking, and Hiccup had seemed…smaller than usual. Dismounting Stormfly, she looked around and saw Toothless laying over by the lake. Walking over, she saw Hiccup leaning against Toothless. “Hey” She spoke softly.

Hiccup jumped a bit and looked up at Astrid. “H—Hey, Astrid. What—What’re you doing here?” 

“This is when we normally meet, right?” Hiccups’ eyes widened. “We’ve been doing this for a while, Hiccup. Did you forget?” Astrid reached a hand out, and Hiccup shifted away, out of reach. Pausing, Astrid pulled her hand back and turned to leave. “I’ll come back tomorrow night, if you’re up for it.”

“S—Stay?” Hiccup barely breathed the word. Astrid turned and looked at Hiccup, one hand resting on Stormfly. “Stay.” He repeated, louder this time. Astrid nodded, sitting down and leaning back against Stormfly, who had laid down.

Astrid shifted for the fifth time in as many minutes. Hearing a slight chuckle, she looked over at Hiccup, glaring a bit. He raised in hands and turned back to…whatever he was doing. Astrid watched him and he watched…the sky? Astrid shifted again and sighed. “Not used to staying still? Try to relax, Astrid.”

“This is relaxing. This is me, relaxing.” Hiccup looked at her. “Ok, fine. I’m used to having something to do or a goal to meet. I don’t sit down and do nothing, Hiccup. It seems too much like wasting time. How can you stand it?”

“Because I’m not doing nothing. I’m relaxing. Which can be fun.” Astrid snorted. “It’s fun for me.” Hiccup was silent for a long time. Astrid was almost asleep when he spoke again. “When—When I was younger and everything got to be too…much, I’d come to this cove. I’d stay here and watch the sky, watch the stars. It didn’t matter that I was Hiccup, someone who couldn’t do anything. No human, no-one to judge. Just me and nature. I actually spent almost a whole week here before going back to the village.” Hiccup was smiling, but his eyes…his eyes spoke a different story. Astrid opened her mouth and closed it again. “Well, not a whole week, really. About 5 days, I think. I don’t think anyone noticed.”

“How’d you survive a week out here?!” Astrid spoke sharper than she meant, realizing only after she noticed that Hiccup curled up even more against Toothless. She sighed, shaking her head. “I…I didn’t mean it that way, Hiccup. I just…that’s kinda impressive. Even for you. Especially for you.” Hiccup stayed curled up, and Astrid felt the tightness in her chest again. She felt wrong-footed, like she had missed a step and needed to recover. She leaned back against Stormfly and thought. “When I was younger, right after Arvindails’ Fire, I decided I wanted to avenge Uncle Finn. I left the house, late at night, to search for a dragon—any dragon. But I got turned around.” Astrid wasn’t looking right at Hiccup, instead looking up at the sky. “I wasn’t lost or anything, I just was having trouble finding my way back to the village. I spent all night wandering around the island until Father found me the next morning. He…wasn’t happy. Had supervision constantly for months.” Hiccup uncurled himself and watched Astrid throughout the story. Astrid noticed him looking and shrugged. “Just made me more determined than ever to be the best. Want to race?” 

Astrid stood up and held a hand out to Hiccup. Hiccup looked at the hand and shook his head, getting up by himself. “Sure, I’ll race you, but we’re gonna win, right bud?” Astrid and Hiccup got on Stormfly and Toothless, speeding into the night sky.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I just saw HTTYD 3. It was good, but lacking. And left me with Feelings. But in preparation of it, I binged HTTYD, Defenders of Berk, RTTE, and HTTYD 2. And wasn't happy with some things I came up with. So, this got stuck in my head. Muse wouldn't leave me alone. 
> 
> If someone wants to request a One-shot, I'll do my best. Let me know what you think?


End file.
